Marg&Tom EyesFalling in love can happen in a split second as the eyes carry the code and the chemistry to make the bond.These tips come from an octogenarian who carefully recorded the real-life voyage of her parents who stayed married down to the core of their hearts and souls for 61 years. Sixty years ago she found her own soul mate at age 22. They still squeeze hands by the fireside in their snowy homeland. I hope their experience will help you find the answer to your love quest too.

1. Buried inside you is a fairy tale dream of being married and living happily for ever after. No one wants to live alone and be unhappy.

2. Since birth, you are taught by word and example how you are supposed to behave, believe and be a good person.

3. As you grow, certain experiences stick in your mind because they excite you and make you happy. You are discovering your uniqueness.

4. Approaching independent adulthood, you doubt or even panic over whether your dream will ever come true. Life has become a search, a quest for your ‘other’.

5. You may need to accept your parents’ support for longer than you or they wanted because it is vital to nurturing your dream. You must be able to afford to mix in likely circles for your prospective mate. Getting into debt now could derail your life plans.

6. There is not just one person, but a type of person, who is right for you. Don’t give up after a failure. Although you may not have analyzed it, you have been building up a picture of what you want in a mate since early childhood, such as build, smile, eyes, a sense of humor and a sense of adventure, so you will never be bored.

7. Falling in love can happen in a split second as the eyes carry the code and the chemistry to make the bond.You may be climbing up a flight of stairs or just finishing tying up your shoe laces. You already know this person but see them anew in a body-shattering flash.

8. Pause for sober afterthought to make sure your reason, not passion, is in control.Take your time; you are considering making a lifelong commitment.The feelings are right, but what do you know about this person, his or her personality, health, friends, parents and reputation? Check out your loved one’s connections and relationships. Does any little thing ring an alarm bell? How does he/she measure up to your dreams? The eyes know it all but you have to do your part realistically.

9. Are your basic religious values and family traditions the same? Even if the answer to the questions in (8) are good, you have to ask this one.  If your beliefs are not the same, are you willing to compromise completely in order to make the marriage work? Most importantly, you must be true to yourself. You will not be happy if you abandon the really basic values or behaviors your parents taught you. You will open a breach between yourself and your ancestors. Does your prospective partner feel the same way in an opposite direction? Resolve this now if you want to proceed hand-and-hand into your dream together.

10. Accept that you and your partner are imperfect people. Just trust each other completely by being totally honest and keeping whatever vows you make. You will have a lifetime of happiness together if you accept the challenges of building a relationship founded on trusting the eyes (the mirror of the soul) and never giving up on one another. If you think the lasting marriage prospect is too risky, do not be disheartened. Promise you will be good friends for life and bless each other if you go on to marry someone else. Keep on searching and you will find.

Tip: If you enjoyed reading this blog, you may also enjoy reading the real-life courtship, honeymoon and life adventures of Jack and Kay in A Book of Kells and Kathleen’s Cariole Ride, available in paperback or e-back version from Amazon.