In September 1967 I was a stay-at-home wife and mom with a six-year old son and two baby daughters.
Our kids were not my major problem, however. Nor were our means of support and security. My husband had taken a job as a patent examiner with the Government of Canada. His starting salary was $8,000 per year, with annual increases promised and monthly deductions for income tax, health insurance, public service union dues and a pension. I could cook, sew, clean, garden, manage and be thrifty.
Not One Moment to Sit Down and Write
My big concern was that I didn’t have a moment in my day to sit and write down what I was doing and thinking. My passion was to record and pass things on. What I was doing was important and should not be forgotten. How could I capture my fleeting thoughts on these lonely days spent carrying out the daily duties of motherly love?
Be Ingenious
I solved the problem by tacking together a few 4 1/2″ x 5″ pieces of lightweight cardboard as a booklet and draping them around my neck with a piece of string that also had a short, blunt pencil attached. If I had the urge to write, even while standing at the bathinette, I could.
Preserve Raw Emotions and Facts
Yesterday I read through those notes after so many years and was shocked to see how frantic and unsettling they were. A shrieking baby in the background, dirty diapers with diarrhea running down legs and onto the floor, a six-year-old pleading for his mommy to come and play museum with him, bursting into tears, struggling to get kids into snowsuits and then having to take them off ten minutes later, getting angry, going to a bridge club where mothers talked about their hair, trying to wake up a husband in time to catch his bus after he stayed up repeatedly until 2:30 a.m. making furniture for the family, being irritated with Grannie for being so insecure she needed approval for things she’d been doing her whole life, disagreeing with the next-door neighbor over diet . . .
Throw out the Garbage Words Later
The dangling diary may have been a good idea for helping me cope but its soul-baring sob story would hardly inspire a future generation. The words I wrote down were garbage, full of aimless rants and frustrations. Now, 45 years later, I put them in the recycle bin with just a tinge of regret.
Start a Keepsake Box for Your Next Family Memoir Writer My booklet did not make the cut to get into the keepsake box for the next generation of family memoir-writers to discover. Literature emerges from more composed sources of reflection.
Enjoy Living Your Memories Too If anyone’s interested in what I did in my earlier life, I have a beautiful array of descendants to exhibit. And that’s nothing compared to the love, joy, satisfaction and thankfulness inside my heart.
Thank you for spending your precious time reading this post. Please browse around top and bottom and, if you like, comment.
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Enjoyed.
My father was a carpenter who built for each of us children a small box. Even with failing eyesight after retirement, he made boxes for my three children. I have always encouraged them to store keepsakes and souvenirs for recording later or pouring over them on a rainy day. My term was “memories box”.
Thanks,
T
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What a lovely picture you create of a good grandfather.
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After reading the post again, I would like to offer that one *should* keep those diaries and ranty notes.
They offer proof of emotions and state of mind while struggling, raising a young family, overcoming hurdles and hurts. If you don’t, then the person writing the family history won’t be able to provide an accurate record once the parents are dead and gone or their memory is foggy beyond recovery.
Thanks again,
T
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I plead guilty to exercising self-censorship. At least I had enough second thoughts to write this blog and send it up to the cloud.
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Understood. Of course, some families may prefer their family histories to appear clean and blemish-free. I suppose I wouldn’t mind too much if I have already moved on and my children or grandchildren will have the choice to edit out the unpleasant parts.
Thanks again!
T
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Let’s hope the memoir writers of the future research blogs too.
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Reblogged this on Shewrite63 and commented:
A lovely offering on how to record moments when life gets too busy with work, raising a family, dirty diapers and all!
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Reblogged this on cozybookbasics.
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Marg, this is just the incentive I’ve needed to get back to writing my second book !!!
t was a wonderful story which brought back memories of how it was to raise five kids, more or less on my own, when their Daddy was out at sea for months while in the Navy.
Thank you so much for sharing it !!!
Hugs from Ronee
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Ronee, this is wonderful news that you are inspired to write another book! I jumped for joy to get your message. I can’t even imagine how you coped. Young mothers are such unsung heroines. A new Ronee with a new goal! I will love to read your second book, as I did your first, and it will be my turn to be inspired.
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Before the days of blogging I wrote down my thoughts re parenting. I tried to use humour as it is and always has been an excellent balm to bad feelings.It is somewhere in my house or garage and I must find it and share it with my daughters who among other titles are first and foremost parents to young children. I have been blessed with a good memory so share the good and the bad of my parenting days. But truth be told, there are far more good memories than bad. Likely it is our brain protecting us.I look forward to reading your new book about marriage. I am sure it will contain many pearls of wisdom.Love reading your cozybook offerings, Margaret. Best regards to you and Tom
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Humor is a great way to go. Hope you can find those notes and give us the unvarnished story!
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